Personality changes

[Wimbly]

Hi, I'm new here but have had the idea of becoming a cop in my head since I was 19 (now 27). My family and girlfriend have kept me in school (now working on a masters in Engineering) but over the last couple of years I am growing increasingly disatisfied with it. I want to become policeman because I like being outside, dealing with people and new situations, as well as the spirit of competition I expect to feel with the "bad guys." My most major concern however is the internal changes the proffesion brings, I am generally a really nice guy that likes to socialize and tell jokes. I am concerend that this will change - please those of you with some real time on the job - let me know what to expect.

[journey2cps-redux]

Hi Wimbly,

I think this is a concern that a lot of people experience at one time or another, I'm still in the process myself so I can't give any real insight, but if that's your only concern, then go for it!! If you are aware of the possibility of changing, then there is less chance it will happen. If you want to get some input from other officers though, you could always check out www.blueline.ca/forum/ and get some input there.

Good luck, with whatever you decide to do in life. ;D

J2D

[Charlie]

Wimbly--

Your question is not easy to answer:

"My most major concern however is the internal changes the proffesion brings, I am generally a really nice guy that likes to socialize and tell jokes. I am concerend that this will change "

-- Some professions have a profound effect on people and law enforcement is one! BUT,....the "changes" that one generally often experiences can vary depending on the person.

-- Speaking for myself as I have been in the field for approximately 17-years now, (over 14-years as a police officer), one thing that I was told by close family members is I can be at times a very cold person. I dunno how to explain it but I guess one has a tendacy to insulate themselves after a period of time from getting personal with people out there. Perhaps it is a suttle defense mechanism or something because obviously if one takes things too personal on the job (depending on what it is to begin with), it may sometimes lead to some visits to the shrink.

-- Another inevitable change that commonly occurs is the changes in your friendship circles. You'll find that once you become a cop, you go from, "This is my friend, Wimbly" when introduced to people to something like this, "This is my friend Wimbly and he/she is a cop!" Then, the conversations go into legal questions or, someone will explain to you their encounter with some a-hole cop somewhere and how they did not deserve their ticket.... You'll find that having and maintaining friendships with civilians will be problematic but not impossible. Often times, your friendships will eventually revolve around other cops for the most part.

-- To some extent, after awhile, you'll get in that cop mindset of cynicism and suspicion of most people. After all, what do you deal with day in and day out? Again, it's another one of those things that sneak up on you. Just be cautious about this issue especially when it involves family members. After all, they are people that love you and should not be viewed as the suspects you deal with "out there." Otherwise, your family relationships can become greatly strained or you'll find yourself divorced if you're married!

Those are just a few "things" I have thought of that come to mind. The profession is a unique family. It can be a love & hate relationship. You see both the best and worst human kind has to offer. And, you'll see some of the most amazing stuff people will do to themselves or each other. Unless you're a robot without any feelings or a personality, the job does and will have a gradual effect on you!

Oh and one other thing......in my experience, some cops are the most creatively comical people you'll ever get to know.

--
Charlie

[TEJ1956]

i wasWimbly

I have been an police officer for 15 months counting the academy, FTO, and my solo time. I am on my third career and I can tell you this one has had the most dramatic affect on your personality. I was a school teacher, a soldier and now a cop. I have changed some what and would totally agree with Charlie. I seem to meet the same people over and over. I work in a town of about 160,000 people. We have about 230 patrol officers and I am assigned downtown. We have the most "action". I worked night shift for about half of my solo time and I am day shift now. We work 12 hour shift 4 on 4 off. My wife has expressed a couple of times that I am more agressive, more vocal and more assertive with people. I try to leave the job at the job but sometimes it is impossible. I have found I dont trust anyone but another cop. I dont hang around with any one but cops, dont call any one on the phone but other cops and prefer to only be around other cops. Search your heart and mind for the answers. If you really want this job go for it. It is not a job that will garner acolades for you but the inner satisfaction is boundless. I am glad I did it and look forward to going to work every day. TJ

[Ss]

Hi,

I have happened upon this site (message board) because i am in search for insight or maybe just reasurence. I am not the one wanting to be a Cop, my boyfriend/bestfriend is. I am finding it really hard to support his career choice. At first i thought for selfish reasons, but i think that it is more out of fear. I feel like i am the one out of the 2 of us to be thinking about the personal effects, family effects and generally that this job is not all roses, while he only dreams about the perks ( and i have read messages from others on this site, fondly speaking of the perks aswell.) I am sure he thinks about the ramifications, but it is refreshing to read that others are concerned about the huge changes to come that may not be all good.
My boyfriend is very much like some of you have been describing yourselves, but even to a greater extreme. He is very positive, and has an attractive energy with the ability to make people feel at ease and gose to any length to make them laugh. He hates when people are sad and will pull out even the most goofy 80's move to the BeeGees to crack a smile...flamboyant is the word. He is only 20!
No affence to all you that are RCMP/Cop all the way, but is it not normal to think that his positive karisma will be wasted if he becomes an officer? Wasted as in lost because of day after day of unexpected negativity.
The replies to Wimbly i think it was, they just depressed me. Becoming hard, alienating family, good friends, only able to trust those who are cops. That is just the begining, i won't even get into the statistics of how many cops abuse family memebers that is not reported. It is a hard life for ALL people with a cop family memeber. I am not just jumping to conclusion here my dad was a cop at 18! Decided it wasn't the life for him.
I can't imagin him not in my life in any form. How can i just sit and watch him change who he is for what sounds like a self centered job becuase the money is good and he probably won't even have to finish school becuase there is a demand for new recruits.
I don't want to sound like a high and mighty girlfriend just really concerned. Insight on how to come to terms that my bestfriend hasn't experienced much of life and may be expected to make life altering decisions in what could be less then a year, would be refreshing. I feel like am alone on this one. :-[
Thank you for reading this very lengthy babble
Ss

[journey2cps-redux]

Hey Ss,

If you would like to talk to some people (wives/girlfriends) who have gone/are going through this go to this forum:
groups.msn.com/RCMPWivesandFamilies/home.htm
You will have to join to gain access but they are a tremendous support group who will be able to help put your mind at ease about these things.
Hope everything works out.

[mikegee]

Charlie,you said it right there ," Hi this is my friend Wimbly;He's A COP".....(when you put on the "badge" ,you lose part of what you once were )Wimbly, at 27 yrs old ,you are probably a lot more mature than someone who is 21 or 22 and coming into the job.The older you are the "less pliable" you are (meaning you've already formed a lot of opinions about the world around you).I'm not knocking younger applicants, as most agencies hire in this manner to get healthier candidates with longevity -believe it or not,most agencies worry more about paying out IOD retirements than lawsuits for use of force! The major problem with this job is adaptability -Hey Tej1956 ,did I ever congratulate you for getting hired?!?!?, well anyway, as I was saying about the adapting to law enforcement-you must realize that you will be doing something that is sometimes less than desireable.You WILL see the dead(and not in neat caskets,respectfully laid out),you'll deal with victims of ugly crimes, people that will curse you and hate you, fear and tension and it will EFFECT you (ever wonder why cops seem to sit around 7-11s or coffee shops in groups? it is ,according to a Dr Gaiton - a former LAPD Pysch- a form of group connection ,bonding and "unacknowledged" reasssurance to relieve anxiety) I think older applicants,especially if they've had more education and job/life experience-we recently hired a former Master Chief Petty officer from the U.S. Navy- handle the job stress better,change less, and can get over some feelings of self doubt that younger officers have . Law enforcement causes you to be alot more conservative in your life style than you would be as a regular citizen.(you stay away from questionable people and places.You WATCH the entrance and the people at the cash register when you're out eating at a resturant) Also you need to be careful and REALLY think it out as sometimes people come to the job with a different type of work background, and find it frustrating -i.e. people with careers in customer/public service,military,teaching,medical,often succeed in Law enforcement as they've had like personal interaction with people. White collar and office/corporate types often find picking up a drunk mentally ill person at 2am from the gutter not as appealing as the "TV" perception of vehicle pursuits and shootings in progress. I uggest using that educational background to your benefit. If there are local .county or state agencies that have peace officer investigative units -like The County Dist Atty Bureau,Georgia Bureau of Inv,Alcohol Bev Control, CAlif.Dept of Justice Special Agent,etc, you may try those as an alternative to "pushing an blk and white" around town.Sometimes they offer the "action" of policing,but will give you that 9-5 and weekends off that might agree with your signficant other( you will definitely lose that for the first 5+ yrs if you go to a Police Dept or Sheriffs Office) so you want the support and need to be concerned with the emotional satisfaction of the "missus" also toward your job.

[Ss]

Hello,

Thank you for all your posts . It is really refeshing to know that what i have been thinking is not all crazy. Maybe i will even introduce him to this website because it would be good for him to get some insight, but not until i am finished using it!

Ss