question

[Recruit102]

I have one question, if you guys were in the process of becoming an officer with a police agency how would you deal with the following, some guy you knew from highschool slapping you in the face "the guy was being a ass not trying to start a fight" I mean i always have had a great deal of self control and was always able to work my ways around fights. But since ive been processing it feels like my life is on a pedastole, how would you guys keep your pride in this situation without blowing your future ?

[Phil]

Hey Recruit. Your question is a good one, and one I've asked myself. Fortunately, I've never had to deal with that kind of situation, but from my martial arts experience, I could apply it to that situation and solve it in a non-violent way. What I'm going to say may sound long winded, but I hope it helps. And this is by no means a lecture.

As far as your situation goes, the only advice I can really give you is for you to ask yourself, "What are the potential consequences for the various ways I can handle this situation?" On the flip side, you can also ask yourself "What are the potential positives that can come out of the various ways I can handle this situation?" What you need to do in situations like that, and anything else for that matter, is to take those two questions and weigh them against each other. That slapping in the face situation does carry some gravity as it could potentially become confrontational, but it could also be a good learning experience for you by handling it diplomatically and with some tact. I'm sure you know how to handle it, given your circumstances and what one mishandled situation could potentially do to you. For me, I would tactfully ask him why he is doing this, and what he hopes to gain out of it. If he is just looking to be an ass, don't humour him by letting it get to you or by becoming visibly upset. Laugh it off, and it'll show that you are mature enough to let it roll off your back. Life will go on, and you've proven to yourself that you can handle things like that. On the outside it may be a blow to your visible ego, as you decided to stand down and not make a scene out of it. Inside, you've kept your dignity because you know you did the right thing. Ultimately, that is what matters.. which leads me to my next statement.

However, I do have to express a concern with one of your statements. You are curious as to how some of us would keep our pride in that kind of situation? I think your pride should be the least of your concerns. Don't ever let your ego get in the way! Law enforcement is not one of those professions where you can make egocentric decisions and hope they were right. You are in processing and you will be examined as if you were on a pedestal, but you need to keep in the mind that everything about you before that and after you get hired will be examined the same way. Let me put it in this kind of perspective: You apprehend someone, you have cuffed him, and as you are putting him into the car, he spits on you. Are you going to pull out your baton and beat the snot out of him to keep your pride? I would certainly think not! Or how about when someone calls you a pig or insults you? You can exercise your self control and still keep the situation under your control at the same time, and know that you have made the right decision. I know it may be difficult to walk away from a situation where your pride has been hurt, but if you have exercised this self control that you speak of and have solved the problem.. well, what more can you want?

Like I mentioned, I have grappled with this issue in my own head many times and have come to accept that in the career path we have all chosen, we will be expected to act in the interest of solving the problem and maybe come away with a bruised ego from time to time. I hope I could help in some way!